Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - Vivsco.com.ng

 

As grandparents, we often benefit from the interaction we have with our grandchildren that is not usually associated with the daily responsibilities of parenting. 

For many of us, being a grandparent means spending some weekends together, playing games during the day, babysitting during the day, enjoying summer vacations, or making occasional phone calls and exchanging emails. However, when life circumstances change (for example, due to divorce, the death of a parent, or a change in a parent’s job or school schedule), grandparents often take on full or partial responsibility for the care of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

This is also known as “kinship care,” and many grandparents take on the role of parent to their grandchildren, thus giving up the old relationship with grandparents and grandchildren. This often means giving up free time, travel opportunities, and many other aspects of independence. Instead, you also take on the responsibility of a full-time job, schedule, meals, chores, and playdates. If a bad situation forces you to take on the role of parent, you will face many other challenges, including your own grief and the grief of your grandchildren.

While raising grandchildren can be difficult, it can also be very rewarding. Yes, you may be dealing with a fussy baby or a fussy toddler, but you will also have an impact on your grandchild’s world, including school and free time. You may find yourself transported back in time, constantly moving through a growing community. You can take great joy in providing your grandchildren with a safe, nurturing, and organized environment in which they can thrive and feel loved.

Tip 1: Recognize Your Emotions

The expectations of raising grandchildren will bring a variety of emotions. It's easy to recognize positive feelings, such as the love you feel for your grandchildren, the joy you feel in watching them learn and grow, and the relief you feel in providing them with a stable home. It's also harder to acknowledge emotions like anger, guilt, or fear.

It's important to acknowledge and accept your feelings, both good and bad. Don't punish yourself for your doubts and hesitations. It's normal to have conflicting feelings about parenting when you're expecting to have fewer responsibilities. These feelings don't mean you don't love your grandchild.

What are you feeling?

Anxiety and stress: If you spend some time with your grandchildren, returning to full-time work can be stressful and difficult. You may be worried about how you'll cope with the additional responsibilities and what will happen to your grandchildren if something happens to you.

Tip 2: Take Care of Yourself

At this point in your life, you probably don’t expect to have another child. Sometimes the physical, emotional, and financial demands can be overwhelming. That’s why it’s important to take care of yourself and get the support you need.

It’s easy to put your own needs aside when you’re busy raising grandchildren every day. But taking care of yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. You can’t be a good caregiver if you’re tired, exhausted, and emotionally drained. To interact with your grandchildren, you need to be calm, focused, and attentive. Taking care of your physical and mental health is one way to achieve this.

You’re healthy, and your grandchildren are healthy. If you don’t take care of your health, you won’t be able to take care of your grandchildren. Also, eat healthy, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. Don’t skip doctor’s appointments or refill your prescriptions.

Leisure activities and free time are not luxuries. To avoid burnout and depression, it’s important to make time for rest and relaxation. Use your time to truly take care of yourself. Instead of watching TV (which will not energize you), choose activities that trigger your relaxation response, such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.

It’s okay to rely on your grandchildren for help. Children are smarter and more capable than we often give them credit for. Even children can help with household chores. This will help your grandchildren as well.

Words of support.

Research shows that grandparents who are coping with the added stress of raising grandchildren seek support from others.

Find someone you can talk to about what’s going on. This will give you a chance to process your feelings and accept the situation. If you deny or ignore these feelings, they will manifest themselves in other ways and can affect your relationship with your grandchildren.

Find a support group for grandparents raising grandchildren. A support group or even phone support can be a great help during this process and is a good place to start finding friends who are in a similar situation. Hearing from people who have had this experience can help to comfort you and give you advice specific to your situation.

Tip 3: Remember that your grandchildren will also feel different emotions

Even in the best of circumstances, moving to a new home is not easy. Moving can be especially difficult when children are very close to their parents or caregivers. Your grandchildren will take time to adjust, and in the meantime, they may be more argumentative and difficult. When children experience emotional neglect, abuse, or neglect, the wounds don’t go away because they are now in a safe place. They need time to heal.

Your grandchildren may not want to be separated from their parents and want to return home, even if the situation at home is dangerous or violent. Don’t worry too much about it. The bond between parents and their children is very strong. Even if children are old enough to understand that things are better with their parents, they still miss them and feel abandoned.

Regardless of their behavior, your grandchildren will need your comfort and support. If they start to get angry or upset, put yourself in their shoes. Think about what they have been through and the confusion, doubts, and fears they may be experiencing.

Remember that children often misbehave in a safe place. While it may seem like your grandchildren don't love or appreciate you at times, their actions actually mean that they are comfortable expressing their overwhelming emotions.

When grandchildren are born, they can be the best of the best. If after a short "vacation" they start acting out, don't despair. This doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. As mentioned above, this could be a sign that they are finally feeling comfortable expressing their true feelings.