Do you want to have a strong bond with your newborn? These parenting tips can show you how to respond to your baby’s cues and ensure your baby has the best possible foundation for life.
What is secure attachment?
Attachment is the unique emotional bond between your baby and you, their primary caregiver. It is a key factor in how your baby’s brain is organized and how they develop socially, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. The degree of attachment varies.
• Positive attachment is the result of nonverbal emotional communication that connects you both and ensures that your baby feels safe and secure enough for their nervous system to develop properly. A strong attachment gives your baby the best foundation for life: a desire to learn, a positive sense of self, trust, and consideration for others.
• An unstable attachment that fails to meet your baby’s needs for security and understanding can leave him confused about his identity and have trouble learning and interacting with others in the future.
What is onboarding security?
The bonding process is both a relationship and a strength. Both you and your baby exchange nonverbal emotional signals that make your baby feel safe and secure. Even in the first few days of life, your baby will pick up on your emotions—your tone of voice, your body language, and your emotions—and respond by crying, whining, mimicking facial expressions, and eventually smiling, laughing, pointing, and touching. Pointing or even yelling to show you. In turn, you watch and listen to your baby’s cries and sounds, responding to his cues, and meeting his needs for food, love, and affection. Secure attachment develops through a healthy communication process between you and your child.
Why is secure attachment important?
A healthy attachment teaches your child to trust you, express their feelings, and ultimately trust others. When you and your child have a close relationship, your child will learn to have a positive sense of self and a loving and compassionate relationship.
Secure attachment allows for the growth and development of the parts of your child’s brain responsible for social development, communication, and relationships. These relationships will be the foundation for your child’s ability to connect with others in positive ways. The qualities you can use in adult relationships, such as empathy, understanding, love, and the ability to respond to others, are learned during childhood.
Secure attachment is good for you, too.
Nature has prepared mothers and babies to experience “falling in love” through close contact. The joy of interacting with children can reduce the fatigue caused by sleep deprivation and the stress of learning to care for children. This bonding process releases endorphins into your body, which motivate you, energize you, and make you feel good. Building a strong bond with your children may take some effort, but the rewards can be huge for both of you.
Tips for Parents on Building a Healthy Relationship
A strong bond is not something that can be achieved overnight. It is an ongoing relationship between you and your child. Over time, it will become easier to understand your baby’s cries, recognize the signals, and respond to your baby’s needs for food, rest, love, and comfort;
Secure attachment starts with self-care
Children communicate best when they are calm and alert, and so should you. While it may be difficult for you, it is important to take care of yourself to have a strong relationship with your child.
Try to get enough sleep. Lack of sleep can make people feel depressed, apathetic, and irritable. Some parents find it helpful to alternate night shifts (two nights in, two nights out) or to allow at least one sleep-in-one morning per week.
Seek support from your family. Especially with a newborn, get as much help as possible from your spouse, family, or friends.
Schedule your free time. Caring for young children is hard work, and rest can help you be a more productive parent. Spending an hour at a coffee shop, going for a walk, taking a yoga class, or doing anything else you enjoy can help you clear your mind and restore your energy.
Find ways to calm yourself down during stressful times.
Since babies can’t talk, they are especially sensitive to signs of stress or anxiety. Babies need help calming themselves down. But loving caregivers can help children feel calm and relaxed. If you’re feeling stressed, try to find ways to calm yourself down before interacting with your child.
Take deep breaths. This might mean letting your child cry for a few more minutes so you can catch your breath before you pick them up and try to calm them down.
Try to work together. Don’t assume you can do everything yourself. Try to enlist the help of your spouse, friend, family member, or caregiver to hold or care for your baby when he or she cries.
Take a walk. Fresh air and a change of scenery can do that.
Create a safe attachment
Tip 1: Learn to understand your child’s unique signals
As most parents of young children know, there is no easy way to meet their child’s needs. Every child is born with unique personalities and interests. Every child’s nervous system is also unique. Noises and activities can calm some children, while others prefer to remain quiet. The key is to learn your child’s signals and respond to them.
While all sounds and cries may sound the same at first, your child will communicate to you in different ways through sounds and movements. Back-flapping, frowning, closed eyes, clenched fists, eye contact, aggressive or angry movements – all of these signals give unique clues about your child’s emotional and physical state. Your job is to be a “sensory observer” and figure out what your child is saying and how to best respond.
• Watch your baby’s facial expressions and body language to understand his emotional needs. For example, your baby may change body position or facial expression in response to your voice, or move his arms and legs to indicate that he is cold or needs to be picked up and held.
• Be aware of the types of sounds your baby makes and what they mean. For example, the sounds “I’m hungry” may be short, low-pitched cries, while the sounds “I’m tired” may be deep, labored sighs.
• Pay attention to the types of contact your baby prefers and the amount of pressure he likes. A newborn will get life from almost any touch. The more you touch, the more your baby will begin to feel that the world is a place of comfort.
Pay attention to the types of movements, sounds, and environments your baby enjoys. Some babies can be calmed by physical movement, such as rocking or walking, while others respond to gentle play or changes in their environment, such as being taken outside.
Sometimes children will be anxious no matter what you do, such as when they are teething, sick, or experiencing major developmental changes. If this happens, continue to try to talk to and comfort your child. Even if your child continues to misbehave, he or she will benefit from your patience, love, and concern.
Be wary of peer pressure from well-meaning family and friends. What works for one child may not work for your child. By learning how to calm your child down, you build trust and your child will begin the process of learning to be calm.
Tip 2: Food, Sleep, and Opportunities for Healthy Connections
Many of your baby’s early signs and symptoms are related to the need for proper nutrition and rest. Increasing the frequency of feedings or adding naps when needed can help your baby be more engaged and engaged when awake.
Without adequate rest, your baby won’t be as calm, focused, or ready to talk to you. Newborns sleep a lot (usually 16 to 18 hours a day in the first few months), and their sleep cues will be more frequent than you might expect. Tired babies often start to be more alert and active. You may mistake this energy for an invitation to come in, but it’s actually your baby telling you that bedtime needs to be pushed back by 30 minutes.
Hunger may also be the reason your baby is having many of his or her first signs. Charts are helpful, but growth and developmental changes can cause your baby’s needs to change every few weeks, so paying attention to his or her own signs and symptoms can help.
Tip 3: Talk, laugh, and play with your baby
The importance of having fun, playing, cuddling, and sharing joy with your baby cannot be overstated. Laughing, smiling, touching, and interacting are as important to a baby’s development as eating or sleeping. Body language, vocalizations, and affectionate touch are important ways for you and your baby to communicate.
If you notice signs that your baby wants to play, try to relax and enjoy exchanging smiles, funny words, and happy hugs with your baby. Toys, books, and music can help get the ball rolling for play, but often all it takes is a game of hide and seek or a funny sound to get your child to interact. Children with sensory disabilities tire easily, so be sure to keep an eye on them.
Indicates that your child needs to go back to sleep.
I was so happy, so I stopped playing. If you don't feel comfortable or are sure that your child will play, go ahead and try it. As you experience the joy of interacting with your child, any shyness or confusion will fade away.
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