9 Steps to Becoming a Good Parent

Raising a child is one of the most difficult and rewarding jobs in the world, and it's also one of the jobs you may feel least prepared for.

These 9 parenting tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.

1. Build your child's self-esteem

Children begin to develop a sense of self from a young age when they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. Your child is attracted to your tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. As a parent, your words and actions have the greatest impact on your child's self-esteem.

Praising their accomplishments, no matter how small, will build their self-esteem; on the other hand, making negative comments about one child or comparing them unfairly to another can make them feel worthless.

Avoid using harsh words or using words as weapons. Sayings like "What a big bull!" or "You're acting like a child more than your brother!" can hurt.

Choose your words carefully and be empathetic. Let your child know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them even if you don't like their behavior.

2. Make sure your children behave well.

Have you ever thought about how often you react negatively to your children? You may find that you criticize them more than you praise them. How would you feel if your boss treated you with a negative type of discipline, even if it was good?

The most effective way is to see your child doing something right: "You took the initiative to make your bed, that's good!" will improve your child's performance It helps to build good habits more than repeated scolding.

Make it a goal to find something to praise every day. Be generous with your rewards - your love, your hugs and your praise can work wonders and are often enough. You will soon find that you are "cultivating" many of the behaviors you want to see.

3. Set limits and be consistent in your discipline

Every family needs discipline. The purpose of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test how much you have pushed them, but they need your help to become good adults.

Establishing rules at home can help children understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV before schoolwork, no hitting, no swearing, and no other threats.

You can set a schedule: a warning followed by a suspension or loss of privileges. One thing parents often do is not address the root cause of the problem. You can’t punish a child for misbehaving today and ignore them tomorrow. Consistency teaches you what to expect.

4. Spend time with your children

It’s hard for parents and children to get together for a meal, let alone spend quality time together. And there’s probably nothing that kids enjoy more than this. Get up 10 minutes earlier and eat breakfast with your kids, or leave the dishes in the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who don’t get enough attention from their parents are more likely to misbehave because their parents will see them.

Many parents find it helpful to schedule time with their children. Plan a “special night” together each week and let your children decide how they will spend their time. Find other ways to connect: Put a note or something special in your child’s lunchbox.

Teens seem to need less parental attention than younger children. Since parents and teens don’t have as much time together, parents should make an effort to be there when their teens say they want to talk or participate in family activities. Going to movies, plays, and other activities with your child shows affection and gives you a chance to learn more about your child and his or her friends in a meaningful way.

If you are working with parents, don’t feel guilty. Children will remember the little things you do (making popcorn, playing cards, shopping).

5. Set a good example

Children can learn a lot about behavior by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they get from you. Before you get angry with your child, think about this: How does your child feel when they are angry? Remember, your child is always watching you. Research shows that children who repeatedly hit others are more likely to show anger at home.

Model the qualities you want to see in your children: respect, kindness, honesty, helpfulness, and patience. Demonstrate independence