Conflict Resolution Techniques

Regardless of the cause of conflict and disagreements at home or at work, these skills can help you resolve conflicts effectively and make your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.

What is conflict?

When It comes to relationships conflicts is always part of it. After all, you can’t expect two people to agree on everything all the time. The key is not to fear conflict or try to avoid it, but to learn to resolve it in a positive way.

If not handled properly, conflict can damage a relationship, but if handled respectfully and effectively, conflict can provide an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people. Whether you’re dealing with conflict at home, work, or school, learning these skills can help you resolve conflict effectively and build strong, rewarding relationships.

The Roots of Conflict

• Conflict is more than just a disagreement. This is a situation where one or both parties feel threatened (whether real or not).

• If left unchecked, conflict will escalate. Because conflict threatens our well-being and survival, it will be with us unless we confront it and resolve it.

• We accept conflict based on our perceptions of the situation, not on an objective examination of the facts. Our perceptions are shaped by life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs.

• Conflict triggers strong emotions. If you are uncomfortable with your emotions or are unable to control your emotions under pressure, you will not be able to resolve conflict effectively.

• Conflict is an opportunity for growth. When you can resolve conflict in a relationship, trust grows. You can feel comfortable knowing that your relationship can withstand challenges and conflict.

Causes of Conflict

Conflicts arise from misunderstandings, both big and small. This happens when people have different values, motivations, understandings, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these conflicts may seem trivial, but when conflicts trigger strong emotions, deep personal needs are often at the root of the problem. These needs include the need to feel safe, respected, and valued, as well as the need for greater intimacy.

Think about the different needs between children and parents. Children have a need to explore, so going outside or to the edge of a cliff can fulfill this need. But parents need to keep their children safe, and this need can only be met by limiting children’s exploration. Because these needs conflict, conflict arises.

The needs of both parties play an important role in the long-term success of the relationship. Everyone deserves respect and consideration. In relationships, a lack of understanding of different needs can lead to distance, arguments, and separation. In the workplace, differing demands can lead to broken agreements, reduced profits, and job losses.

If you can identify conflicting needs and are willing to address them with compassion and understanding, this can lead to creative problem-solving, team building, and stronger relationships.

How do you handle conflict?

Are you afraid of conflict? If your view of conflict is tied to painful childhood memories or past negative relationships, you may expect that any conflict will end well. You may view conflict as frustrating, humiliating, or frightening. Conflict can also be upsetting if childhood experiences have left you feeling powerless or out of control.

If you fear conflict, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you are put in a conflict situation and feel afraid, it is difficult to handle the situation in a positive way. Instead, you may shut down or become angry.

Managing Conflict, Stress, and Emotions

Conflict can trigger strong emotions and bring anger, frustration, and discomfort. If it is not handled properly, it can lead to unnecessary conflict, resentment, and estrangement. But if conflict is handled well, it can help you understand others better, build trust, and strengthen your relationships.

If you are not aware of your feelings, or are so stressed that you can only focus on the emotional toll, you will not be able to understand your needs. That is right.

It can be difficult for you to communicate with others and know what you really need. For example, couples often argue over minor disagreements (how he folds his towel, how he eats his soup) instead of discussing what's really bothering them.