2 ‘Relationship solutions’ that every couple need - Psychologist - Vivsco.com.ng

If your relationship has been tested in the past year by emotional outbursts, external obstacles, uncontrolled arguments, or larger-than-life disagreements, you may realize that many of these moments can be alleviated by doing a few simple things. paying more attention, deliberately talking less, or simply listening more.

Interestingly, a 2020 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences analyzed data from more than 11,000 couples across 43 datasets and identified the most important predictors of relationship well-being. The findings suggest that relationship-related factors (e.g., partner approval, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, partner satisfaction, and conflict) play a greater role in relationship well-being than do individual factors such as any external characteristics or circumstances.

These guidelines provide couples with a model of decisions they can make together and actions they can take to build a loving, respectful, and harmonious relationship. Relationships are not perfect, but with the right effort and willingness, past problems will not repeat themselves this year.

Here are the three most impactful resolutions you can make this year to take your relationship to the next level, according to a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

1. We will be deeply grateful for each other.

It feels amazing to be truly grateful for what you have. Whether it’s a sincere “thank you” for your morning coffee or an unexpected compliment, these moments of gratitude can go a long way.

Research shows that gratitude is one of the most powerful indicators of good relationship health. Feeling grateful increases emotional closeness, builds trust, and strengthens a sense of belonging. Without gratitude, even small, unspoken gestures and resentments begin to build.

Here are some ways to thank your partner this year:

• Recognize the little things. Being grateful for the little things you do every day, like when your partner cooks or does something, is so important. A simple “thank you for always thinking of us” can go a long way toward making them feel appreciated.

• Be specific. A simple compliment like “You’re awesome” is fine, but highlighting a specific quality like “I love that you always make time for me, even when you’re busy,” makes the compliment even more meaningful.

• Make it a habit to be grateful. Take a few moments each day to tell each other things you’re grateful for in your life together, including things you love about each other or in your relationship. It makes you appreciate all that you’ve accomplished together and reminds you not to take each other for granted.

Compliments foster a positive love process in which both parties feel appreciated and motivated to reciprocate, strengthening the relationship over time.

2. We will trust in each other’s commitment

If you’ve questioned your partner’s commitment in the past year, this decision may have an impact. Feeling comfortable with your partner’s commitment is essential for a strong relationship.

Researchers have also found that commitment to your partner is one of the strongest predictors of relationship satisfaction. When both partners trust each other’s commitment, it builds trust, intimacy, and stability, making the relationship more resilient to weathering adversity.

Here are some ways to build and strengthen commitment in your relationship this year:

• Be consistent in what you say and do. Commitment builds trust. For example, if you promise to support your partner through a tough week, check in with them, help with chores, or provide emotional support. Such actions demonstrate trust and strengthen your commitment.

• Set common goals. Plan something meaningful together, like saving for a trip, starting a project together, or improving your relationship goals. Having a common goal makes both parties feel like they are one and working toward a common future.

• Communicate regularly. Make time to talk about your relationship. Ask questions like, “How do you feel about the current situation?” or “What can I do to make you feel more supported?” These conversations help build a strong bond that both parties are committed to maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship.

• Communicate your goals. Don’t assume your partner knows you’re committed to them. For example, saying things like “I want to build a future with you” or “You’re the most important person in my life” will remind them of your commitment.

Accepting each other’s input is not just about trust, it’s also about creating a relationship that feels safe, supportive, and future-proof. By making these small but deliberate actions a priority, you can deepen your bond and set the tone for a strong, cohesive relationship.

3. We’ll resolve conflict as a team

Perhaps last year’s argument felt like a fight, with both of you stuck in a cycle of accusations and defenses. This year, make an effort to approach conflict with a “team mentality”: working together to solve problems rather than viewing your opponents as adversaries.

Researchers say that the way couples handle conflict plays a big role in the quality of their relationship. Positive conflict resolution builds trust and emotional intimacy, while unresolved or poorly resolved conflict can be destructive.

Here’s how to argue like a team and turn conflict into an opportunity for growth:

• Move from “me against you” to “we against the problem.” When conflict arises, avoid trying to “win.” Instead, work together to solve the problem. For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed and have a lot of work to do, you could say, “How can we share the responsibilities so that neither of us feels overwhelmed?” instead of “You’re not helping with the housework!” to keep the conversation productive and solution-focused.

• Take a break. Arguments are made worse when emotions are running high. If you are feeling anxious, take a break: “I need a few minutes to collect my thoughts.” “Taking a break can help you both reflect and resolve issues more clearly and understandably.

• Start the conversation slowly. The way you start the conversation sets the tone for the conversation. Instead of criticizing, start with kindness and appreciation. For example, “I know you’ve been working hard lately, and I really appreciate your efforts. Can we talk about how we How can you handle family responsibilities?"

• Apologize when necessary. Taking responsibility for your actions in the conflict can reduce tension and restore trust. A sincere apology can say, "I'm sorry I upset you right now. I can see that you feel ignored."

• Focus on the current issues. Conflicts can easily escalate if unrelated complaints are brought up. If you notice that the conversation is starting to get off topic, gently redirect it by saying, "Let's focus on this first, and then move on to other issues."

Remember that the work you put into your relationship today will pave the way for a fulfilling and sustainable future together. Focusing on solutions to your relationship can keep you moving forward and help you build a meaningful relationship.